Living in Integrity

Living in Integrity is a matter of someone’s words nothing more nothing less!

People often confuse Integrity with Morality and Ethic. Morality and Ethics deal with bad vs good, right vs wrong. Morality deals with Society standards. Ethics deals with the values of a person, group or organisation.  Morality and Ethics deal with desirable vs un-desirable behaviour of a person or group.

That is not what integrity is. Integrity deals with someone keeping their word. It is what keeps us whole and complete as a person. Staying whole and complete is accomplished when you honour your word, and honouring your word can be done in two ways: firstly by keeping your word, and on time; or secondly, as soon as you know that you can’t keep your word, you tell those that will be affected by that action.

When you do this, you are honouring your word despite not being able to keep your word by being honest with yourself and others therefore maintaining your integrity.

When people focus on the importance of keeping their word you have to also consider how you are going to maintain your integrity when you cannot or will not keep your word, this will lead to behaviour that will lead you out of integrity behaviour. If you are serious about being a person of integrity, you will think very carefully before giving your word to anyone or anything, and you will never give your word to two or more things that are mutually inconsistent. Like agreeing to a lunch date, on the same day, at similar time, to two different people. You know you can’t be at two places at the same time but you don’t want to let either person down. This is when you need to make a decision who will you have lunch with and keep your word to.

As an added benefit, honouring one’s word is also an actionable pathway to being trusted by others.

One’s word to one’s self is a critical part of integrity. The foundation for being a person of integrity is giving your word to yourself (or declaring to yourself) the following.

First, “Who I am is my word”, and

Second, “I give my word to myself that I am a person of integrity.” Without this foundation you will never be a person of integrity.

When we remove the seriousness of what keeping our word to ourselves means we remove the opportunity to maintain our integrity by honouring our words.

For example, think of an occasion when your self-discipline is called into question, and how easy it is to talk yourself out of doing something that you told yourself that you would. Like going for a run then you tell yourself that you will go tomorrow instead. This is breaking your word to yourself.

You simply cannot be a whole and complete person if you do not honour your word to yourself. Unfortunately, people almost universally justify or rationalise the mess in their lives resulting from their personal out-of-integrity behaviour. They point to external causes of the mess and never acknowledge that the mess arises from their own personal out-of-integrity behaviour.

 ‘One’s Word’, Defined A person’s word consists of each of the following:

1. What you said: whatever you have said you will do or will not do, and in the case of will do, doing it on time.
2. What you know: whatever you know to do or know not to do, and in the case of to do, doing it as you know it is meant to be done and doing it on time, unless you have explicitly said to the contrary.
3. What is expected: whatever you are expected to do or not do (even when not explicitly expressed), and in the case of to do, doing it on time, unless you have explicitly said to the contrary.
4. What you say you stand for: What you stand for, whether expressed in the form of a declaration made to one or more people, or even to yourself, as well as what you hold yourself out to others as standing for (formally declared or not), is a part of your word.

The social moral standards, the group ethical standards and the governmental legal standards of right and wrong, good and bad behaviour in the society, groups and state in which one enjoys the benefits of membership are also part of one’s word unless;

1. a) One has explicitly and publicly expressed an intention to not keep one or more of these standards, and
2. b) One is willing to bear the costs of refusing to conform to these standards.

Keeping your word to yourself underpins your Integrity, and if this is something that you struggle with taking small steps to honouring your word to yourself are the first actions that you can take. Also keeping your word to others will also build the habits you need to keep your word to yourself.

If self-care is one of those areas that you struggle with then Get your Free Guide to Self-Care “Beyond the Bubble Bath” to get you started honouring your word to yourself.